Dearest Gentle Reader: The Lost Art of Greetings
In a world obsessed with speed, we’ve traded elegance for efficiency—and lost the art of greeting along the way. This satirical piece, inspired by Bridgerton’s flair and Lady Whistledown’s wit, exposes the scandal of modern email etiquette (or lack thereof 😂).
Dearest Gentle Reader,
With the utmost pun intended, since Netflix has already cajoled you with the rigmarole of Bridgerton’s bestowed elegance, would it not be unfair if we abandoned proper English in favor of shortcuts? Somewhere between the texts we studied and the Bridgerton we watched, the art of greeting has gone missing.
In today’s professional world, people have stopped beginning emails with a simple Hello, Hi, or Dear. Studies claim it “saves time.”
According to the Duke of Deadlines, a ‘Dear Sir’ consumes precisely 2.3 seconds—time better spent sipping lukewarm coffee 😂.
And yet, to omit a greeting is the true scandal of our inbox society. Efficiency without elegance is like tea without scones—tragically incomplete . Imagine waltzing into a grand ball without a bow or curtsy; that is precisely what barging into an inbox without a “Hi” feels like 😂.
The Earl of Efficiency may insist that greetings are passé, but I suspect he simply never received a proper invitation to tea 🫖.
Back in school, we practiced greetings as if they were sacred rituals—“Dear Sir,” “Respected Madam.” And now? We toss them aside like yesterday’s homework 😂. What was once grammar and grace has been lost in the shortcuts of professional emails.
But in the Bridgerton world, even a queen would never forsake a proper salutation 👑. If Her Majesty can address her subjects with grace, surely leaders, colleagues, and every living creature can spare a moment for courtesy. Let us not curtsey away courtesy, for it is the crown jewel of communication.
So, dear reader, let us rebel against the tyranny of time-saving studies. Let us restore the lost art of hello, for it is the crown jewel of communication. Surely, if Lady Whistledown can pen entire pamphlets dripping with salutations and scandal, we can spare a mere hello in our emails 😂. And should anyone dare claim otherwise, I say: off with their subject lines! 😂
By order of Her Majesty, all correspondences shall commence with greetings most gracious, lest one be banished to the land of spam.
It is perhaps otherwise not to also forget the roots of our favorite lessons we once studied in school—with proper grammar, of course 📚.
Lady Whistledown’s Closing Note
While the writer here has tried taking the “Diamond of the Season” and addressed the modern scandal of the death of salutation, Lady Whistledown would perhaps like to remind society that though Efficiency might be the “Duke” of the modern office, Elegance is still the Queen 👑😂.
Rachana Bahel
